My long run this weekend was 18 miles. I was pretty nervous going in to it, seeing as I’d missed my last two long runs (the trip to Tennessee and being sick) and pretty much had run just a few miles here and there the past two weeks. I expected to feel terrible. I even, I’m ashamed to say, expected to not run it all. All the same, I got up at 4:10am on Saturday morning, pumped, ate a tortilla wrap with peanut butter, and jumped on the treadmill by 5am, armed with Gilmore Girls and Julie and Julia.
18 miles in 2:58:17, 9:54 pace. I had a brief 10 minute break at mile 14, when Dave was in the shower and Leo woke up early. And I took 3 short walk breaks when I sucked down GU (miles 6, 10, and 13). In fact, I actually felt like I could have run more, but we were due for an appointment with our tax lady, so I had to stop. It was a really really great run, and really encouraging! Here’s why:
In 2009 I lost 30+ pounds by changing how I ate and running more. I maintained the healthy lifestyle in 2010, running 4 marathons that year. At the end of 2010 I got pregnant, so 2011 was still healthy and I still ran, but it was scaled back and there was weight gain (necessary!). I think I’ve (somewhat subconsciously) been afraid that the healthy lifestyle I had then was just a fluke or a fad, that it was unattainable to return to, that I’d never really be that kind of runner again or be at a weight I feel confident at.
For some reason 18 miles felt like enough to shut down those fears. I absolutely can be a runner “like that” again – if not even better. I absolutely can be at a weight I feel healthy and confident at. That healthy lifestyle IS my lifestyle, not a thing of the past or a blip on the radar.
What’s something big you’ve realized about yourself lately?